dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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