Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
