His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
