I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
