so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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