They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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