I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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