I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
