i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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