it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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