Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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