It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
