I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
