Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
