Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
