I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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