Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
