do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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