the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
