the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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