By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
