my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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