Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
