I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
