All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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