it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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