And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
