And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize