when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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