what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
