So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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