Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
