We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
