i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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