is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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