Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize