There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
