Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
