how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize