just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
