i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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