She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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