Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
