Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
