I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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