wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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