I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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