the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
