i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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