Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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