I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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