I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
thus making me awesome and them whores
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
