He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
