I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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