So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
