I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
