I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
