how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
