i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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