so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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