I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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