I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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