I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
