At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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