you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
