i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
