Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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