Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
