I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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