I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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